Let’s talk about self-esteem, or self-confidence. How do you rate your self on a scale of 1-5?

Self-esteem is how someone perceives value of one’s self. It is either high or low. When it is considered low, a person usually feels depressed, cannot accept compliments, feels used by others, and interprets things as being difficult or troubled. When self-esteem is high, a person considers the world as fun, a good place to dwell in, full of beautiful experiences and friendly people.

Low Self Esteem

Women with low self-esteem abound everywhere, that is why, plenty of them are trapped in abusive relationships. These are people who cannot fully express themselves for fear of being rejected. Still some do not even have a concept of who they really are, or their role in a relationship. This is a dilemma that would have to be tapped at the core– the mind. The person who feels wholly helpless, inadequate or insecure, usually has acquired that kind of awareness from childhood experiences.

Families who take bickering, wrangling words and name-calling as normal, may produce children who are low in self-esteem due to the emotional battering that they have received early in life. So these youngsters grow up while they get used to being put down, belittled, physically and verbally abused. As adults, they have nothing to gather for themselves but these experiences, and therefore, bring these with them as they go on with life.

In relationships, these women get victimized, aggravating their self concept of being incapable of getting love and giving love. They describe partners, either as abusers or saviors. They marry, have children and pass the same things to them. In rearing their kids, they are ill-equipped to give right discipline.  They rarely form friendships that last and live without being conscious that they continue the culture they so hate.

These women belong to the lower end of the spectrum.

High Self-Esteem

Women who have high self-esteem know what they want, and how they want things to be. They are usually bubbly, walk with a spring in each step, active in conversations and take part in community.

These women have an idea of themselves as able, no matter how their surroundings judge them to be. To them, they deserve being loved, and also know how to express love for others. Women with high self-esteem can make mistakes but these mistakes will only serve as challenges to do better.  They may experience setbacks in life, job loss, death of loved ones, and other calamities but they are able to pick up their life and bounce back to normal. They believe that life is full of opportunities to make the self better because they know that their positive actions will make a difference, no matter how small.

They belong to the upper end of the spectrum.

What The World Needs

We need more confident women to lead others who are weak. Families need women who are self-assured, strong women who give direction to the lives of children. In so doing, they are molding the generation to come into individuals who are responsible, taking the right path instead of going into drugs, or getting involved in all lewdness that can be seen in society.

This is not a preaching, nor can this be considered mighty ideas from someone who feels goody-goody. It is my own little way of giving serious thoughts– that somehow, parents be reminded to strive to give a little loving to their children. If children, especially young girls, are treated with more respect despite their age and usability, then the world can become a better place.

We need women who can guide the young and take their hand. We need responsible females to show these kids early, of the beauty of life. What we don’t need are more broken people. We already have enough of them. Children need examples that will show them compassion and care, not break their bones or give them lifetime scars of abuse.

Someday, the young child who stutters and mumbles her words will become a woman, and face life on her own. What words of wisdom will you let her carry… as your legacy?

May we know better.

– Tara