"And by the incantation of this verse, scatter, as from an unextinguished heart ~ ashes & sparks, my words among mankind!" ~ Ode to the West Wind

Tag Archives: Self-Esteem


To show your true ability is always,

in a sense, to surpass the limits of your ability,

to go a little beyond them:

to dare, to seek, to invent;

it is at such a moment that new talents

are revealed, discovered, and realized.

–  Simone de Beauvoir

– Tara


A hint to micromanagers: When you look at people too closely, you will surely find flaws.

I would like to identify zero-target managing, a serious case of micro-managing as sub-atomic managing. Ever heard of that word, sub-atomic? Well, here it is now, I’m telling you.

Once the staff is being treated poorly at work— that’s zeroing on at the false target. If results are low, it could be that the unfortunate personnel is not being negligent at work, but just frustrated at infinitesimal how-to-do details that are handed.

Hindered. A worker cannot carry out what one is supposed to achieve. This can be the upshot of managers overly-communicating with them. Things can get confusing on which task to do first, and precisely in the manner that was given.

When the nature of work inclines with the creative, micromanaging is a creativity-killer. Do not expect good results when people are given the impression that they are not trusted for what they can do.

Seasoned personnel can feel low in morale when a micromanager steps into the scenario, telling everyone what to do, step by step, line by line. They feel let-down with the fact that they get no good completion at tasks plus they often get reprimanded for not doing the manager’s minute method of doing things.

The issue of micromanaging is indication of the manager’s distrust on people.  Disregarding the staff’s efficiency and problem solving skills makes a slump in the organization’s total performance. Everyone suffers when micromanagers are actively pursuing their responsibilities.

On the contrary, status checking and reporting can be set on a regular basis so the flow of work can be tracked down. Follow-up and ask if person assigned needs support or experiencing some problems with the task. It would be better to delegate work while the manager supplies the tools. Focus on the results that workers can furnish at the end of the day. Everyone has unique ways of accomplishing work; it does not have to be mechanical.

Managers will develop efficient employees when they are allowed to absorb job knowledge and make decisions. People were hired, primarily to do their jobs. Now let them.


This is often one difficult word to utter. However, you have the right to refuse and say “No”. Giving a polite answer in one word does not have to be that hard. What are reasons why “No” is appropriate?

In situations where people are asserting themselves on you, the No word can be your best defense. If they have the courage to insist on their ideas, you too, have a right to insist on your answer to their suggestions. Stop playing victim because you cannot say a simple “No”.

“Maybe” can be a vague decision, as it places you on an indecisive level. One more thing, an explanation does not have to follow every No answer. You don’t owe anybody a justification for your reply. Besides, this can lead to more questions, and more explanations may mean more mess.

Fear of saying “No.” is fear of rejection.

SMILE and say “No.”

Test your courage!

— Tara


Adobe Dream Weaver is a program popular with Web developers and designers. I have started using CS3 since I had to format my contents that need to be uploaded to a site.

Dream Weaver is a user-friendly program that allows its users to have a preview on locally-installed Internet browsers like Firefox and IExplore.

This is the coding that I am using:


Now, it’s fun!


Let’s talk about self-esteem, or self-confidence. How do you rate your self on a scale of 1-5?

Self-esteem is how someone perceives value of one’s self. It is either high or low. When it is considered low, a person usually feels depressed, cannot accept compliments, feels used by others, and interprets things as being difficult or troubled. When self-esteem is high, a person considers the world as fun, a good place to dwell in, full of beautiful experiences and friendly people.

Low Self Esteem

Women with low self-esteem abound everywhere, that is why, plenty of them are trapped in abusive relationships. These are people who cannot fully express themselves for fear of being rejected. Still some do not even have a concept of who they really are, or their role in a relationship. This is a dilemma that would have to be tapped at the core– the mind. The person who feels wholly helpless, inadequate or insecure, usually has acquired that kind of awareness from childhood experiences.

Families who take bickering, wrangling words and name-calling as normal, may produce children who are low in self-esteem due to the emotional battering that they have received early in life. So these youngsters grow up while they get used to being put down, belittled, physically and verbally abused. As adults, they have nothing to gather for themselves but these experiences, and therefore, bring these with them as they go on with life.

In relationships, these women get victimized, aggravating their self concept of being incapable of getting love and giving love. They describe partners, either as abusers or saviors. They marry, have children and pass the same things to them. In rearing their kids, they are ill-equipped to give right discipline.  They rarely form friendships that last and live without being conscious that they continue the culture they so hate.

These women belong to the lower end of the spectrum.

High Self-Esteem

Women who have high self-esteem know what they want, and how they want things to be. They are usually bubbly, walk with a spring in each step, active in conversations and take part in community.

These women have an idea of themselves as able, no matter how their surroundings judge them to be. To them, they deserve being loved, and also know how to express love for others. Women with high self-esteem can make mistakes but these mistakes will only serve as challenges to do better.  They may experience setbacks in life, job loss, death of loved ones, and other calamities but they are able to pick up their life and bounce back to normal. They believe that life is full of opportunities to make the self better because they know that their positive actions will make a difference, no matter how small.

They belong to the upper end of the spectrum.

What The World Needs

We need more confident women to lead others who are weak. Families need women who are self-assured, strong women who give direction to the lives of children. In so doing, they are molding the generation to come into individuals who are responsible, taking the right path instead of going into drugs, or getting involved in all lewdness that can be seen in society.

This is not a preaching, nor can this be considered mighty ideas from someone who feels goody-goody. It is my own little way of giving serious thoughts– that somehow, parents be reminded to strive to give a little loving to their children. If children, especially young girls, are treated with more respect despite their age and usability, then the world can become a better place.

We need women who can guide the young and take their hand. We need responsible females to show these kids early, of the beauty of life. What we don’t need are more broken people. We already have enough of them. Children need examples that will show them compassion and care, not break their bones or give them lifetime scars of abuse.

Someday, the young child who stutters and mumbles her words will become a woman, and face life on her own. What words of wisdom will you let her carry… as your legacy?

May we know better.

– Tara